Comics to Remember: Adventure #356, "The Five Legion Orphans" (1967) [Spoilers]

It's not a very large sample, but between this book and the Wonder Woman I discussed a few posts ago, I'd say that when I was five, a sure way to get me to buy a comic was to feature the regular characters turned into children. Or possibly that was a sure way to get my dad to pick that book to bring home to me, I don't recall. (Incidentally, the brown spots on the pics are from where the staples rusted over the years.)

In any case, here is Adventure 356, in 1967 the source for Legion of Superheroes stories. The story begins on Parents' Day, apparently a far more significant holiday in the 30th century, celebrated with parades and extensive media coverage of the parents of celebrities:




In the mean time, those Legionnaires without parents are stuck with monitor duty, and some are feeling a bit sorry for themselves, which isn't entirely unreasonable:



Suddenly the orphan Legionnaires are interrupted by a distress call from the planet Zinth. A valuable power crystal has been stolen by raiders and dropped into a pool of water. Mon-El and Superboy go search for the raiders (unsuccessfully) while Brainiac 5, Dream Girl and Element Lad don masks which will allow them to breathe underwater and go after the crystal. It's heavy, but the three manage to carry it out--until they find themselves growing weaker and are forced to drop it. When they emerge from the pool, it's apparent that they are only weaker because they are now younger, due to the effect of the water. Mon-El and Superboy return to find their friends transformed, and--assuming that they will be invulnerable to whatever is in the water--they go after the crystal themselves. Unfortunately they're wrong, and although they rescue the crystal, pretty soon they suffer the same fate as their companions. As toddlers they retain their powers, but not their memories--except for Brainiac 5 and his twelfth-level intellect.



They are immediately taken off to the Interstellar Orphanage. Please note the resemblance of the orphanage to a zoo--it seems designed for display more than anything else. (Also please note that Silver Age Brainy had a lot more respect for Dream Girl's powers than he has in his last few incarnations.)

Pretty soon the child-sized Leionnaires are on display as well, and the kids all try their best to get adopted by showing their abilities.



All are adopted and leave for their new homes. As for why Brainiac 5--who remembers who they all are!--doesn't tell anyone what happened, I can't figure out. Heck, he could have gotten back to his own lab and fixed 'em all. (I'll put it down to artistic license.) Instead, he sneaks into his new dad's lab to try to figure things out. This is not difficult, since apparently parenting on this planet doesn't involve anything resembling actually watching the kids. You'd think that someone who had just adopted a child would want to spend some time with him or her, but not here.



And that's a good thing for li'l Brainiac 5, because it enables him to save the day.





A "pleasant surprise"? Brainiac 5 is displaying his power of super-understatement here, I think...

As a kid, I don't think I thought much about it, but damn, this is a dark story. I can only imagine how it would be told today.